SURVIVAL

Hi. Okay, so its been some time since the last heroic venture on the turbulent seas of philly streets, but heres why.
ITS FUCKING COLD.
Regardless, we went out last night and did the standard bar crawl, and took no pictures, and not much happened at all, but its still significant and heres why.
ITS STILL FUCKING COLD BUT WE SUCKED IT UP AND DID THE THING ANYWAY
Now you’re wondering how fiftyonefiftyone does it. Look, you don’t need special powers or abilities, no, you just need this:

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Here’s everything you need to survive a cold winter adventure without staying curled up shivering in the same bar you started the night in.

#1, Wear long johns, but call them thermals. No one wants to talk to someone who wears “long johns” which is the stupidest name for a product I think I’ve ever heard. Although “Fanny Pack” is pretty horrible to. Don’t wear those.

#2 Wear wool socks. Cotton socks are like wearing a tissue paper condom. I’m not sure how else I can expand on that analogy.

#3 Wear gloves. Just don’t leave them at the crime scene.

#4. Wear a hat. Although it may be tempting, avoid wearing one of those face mask things with eye holes. You’ll never get a taxi.

#5 Drink! Yes its true that consuming alcohol lowers your base body temperature in affect making you colder, butttt it makes you less likely to notice! It also explains why you can wake up the next day with a spiral fracture and go, “how did that happen?” Now, aren’t you glad you were drunk when that happened? That could of really hurt.

Let me conclude by saying just because its cold out doesn't mean trivial nightlife drama has to stop. Keep a strong disposition, and remember, Canada is cold ALL THE TIME.
Think about it.

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P.S.
I'd like to shout out to one of the fine employees from "Saudi Arabian Oil Company Saudi Aramco" who stumbled on our website by searching for "hottest moms I'd like to fuck".
Good luck on your hunt there buddy.